He Said What?

As I have gotten older, there are now only two things that make me feel better. Food and laughter. If cigarettes and booze made me feel as good as I do when I am howling in laughter, I'd be chain smoking with a double right now. Food is a close second, but laughter is definitely numero uno. When I really need to laugh with absolute abandon, I rent a Chris Rock or Wanda Sykes video. Chris says things we all think but won't or don't know how to say. I like Chris because he drops the F bomb like pigeon's crapping at a bread distribution center. When I drop the F bomb, some of my friends tut and slip me a dictionary for Christmas. I have a good vocabulary, but nothing embellishes an emotion like a big fat curse word. When you can string them together and do something creative like alliteration, you are a genius! I imagine that when I am a very old woman, and have forgotten most of my language, I will remember how to curse: "You forgot the F'n Metamucil. Again."