At the Top of the Wheel

I have always imagined the new year like a Ferris wheel, and the new year is at the top. We have completed another 365 day cycle and here we sit, swinging, waiting to see what the new year brings. I for one am excited. I know the new year will bring surprises, both desired and undesired, new friends, new opportunities and new lessons. What I am hoping the new year brings is a neck that doesn't crepe, a knee that doesn't creek and ache and a back that can lift, schlep and slump without pain. I am a realist though, and know that what I can look forward to for certain are dozens of fabulous meals, good wine, good friends and journeys to new and favorite places.

Dang! I'm Tired

Whew. It is amazing how much stuff we can accomplish in a mere day. I am beat. Done. Cooked like a chicken. I'll be back tommorrow with the blog.....but right now I have to finish some things up here, go to spinning, wrap more presents, cook dinner and pass out.

Letter to Young Dinner Party Guests

You were invited to join us for dinner because you are smart, young, funny and bring a new perspective to our lives. We are grateful to know you and for the chance to see the world through your eyes. Likewise, I hope you are open to learning some things from the grown ups at the party. For example, letting the cook know you are in fact coming to dinner an hour before dinner is like not responding at all. The shopping is done, the cooking is underway and the table is set. The intent of the RSVP is to allow the hosts to have enough food and a table setting for you and your guests. Texting during dinner is beyond rude. Is our conversation that boring and prosaic that you can't be present? We want to be included in your conversation and share in the jokes (even when they are about us). I know your generation communicates differently- I know you prefer texting to writing real letters and that verbalizing your feelings, expectations and intent is really hard. We are willing to be patient and encourage you to be gracious, attentive, and articulate. You have to see the value in those qualities and want to possess them. If you are unwilling, you might want to stick to texting at Starbucks with your friends and save dinner parties for adults.

BYOHS: Bring Your Own House Shoes

It's one thing if you get to a party and get loose and take your shoes off. But not to be able to make an entrance in your party shoes that match your dress and your handbag, is deflating. Case in point- last night I am Elaine's date at a business holiday party. I threw on a dress, agonized over which shoes worked best with that dress and jazzed it up with some fishnets! We get to the party, and on the front door was a BIG sign: "please remove shoes." Sure enough, there on the porch were all types of dress shoes in a pile: mules, velvet holiday shoes with charms, loafers, Oxfords, pumps, ankle boots and wing tips. I get it that we walk in and on all sorts of disgusting stuff that you shouldn't want in your house and that is cleaner, safer and smarter to leave the disease and goo outside. However, had I known that this was a barefoot party, I would have brought slippers or I would have gotten a pedicure. There I was in my fishnets, with my un-manicured toes in my party dress looking like Daisy Duke at prom. What I know is that people are funny about their feet. Some people never go barefooted. They get home, slide out of shoes and into slippers or socks. So to ask people in suits and dresses to go barefoot on a cold tile floor and not offer socks, slippers or a warm foot bath is a little, well, wrong.

Blazing Saddles!

There I was, in a darkened room with nine other adults, on stationery bikes. Our instructor was a svelte, muscular, tidy little brunette. It was clear her metabolism was amped up; I could watch the fat she didn't eat get burned as she zipped around the room, pony tail swinging, adjusting bikes, encouraging new riders and going through her mental checklist. I bet she's a virgo! Actually, class was fun. I like spinning and I really like it when I leave behind a pool of sweat on the floor beneath my bike. I paid to leave body fluids behind at a spa not too long ago so this was a bonus. Unlike my ambitious past where I was spinning three and four times a week, I spin once a week and am happy with that. Those seats are not designed for middle aged behinds, but other than that, it is the perfect exercise for yours truly.

A Hug was Enough

Today I was at Wal-Mart shopping for several families who have at least one child enrolled in our after school programs. I ran into a friend who, in 21 years of living in St. Louis, I have never run into while out and about. We engaged in the usual small talk and when I asked how he was, tears filled his eyes and he said that he buried his son yesterday. He started to cry. I felt so very sad to be there, to look into his eyes and watch his heart break. I did not want to say any of the usual things that don't matter when you hurt, so I hugged him. Our relationship has never included hugs because it is a professional one. But when he shared that bit of himself with me, I took a risk and hugged him. He looked so vulnerable and hurt. He changed the subject and we chatted more about nothing. Whatever we said didn't matter because so much had been said in so few words. Eventually, the subject came back to his son. I never asked what happened or for any of the details. None of that mattered. What mattered was that he will never have his son home for Christmas again. He will never get to grouse again that his son drove the family car for the day and returned it on "E." It was a goodbye he wasn't prepared to say. I am glad I didn't say much. I will write him a letter in a week or so and express my care and sympathy and gratitude for the coincidence that I saw him at the Wal-Mart.

Beginnings and Endings

Three years ago, my good friend Scott, invited me to join him at the annual New York Gift Show. I felt like Bob Barker himself had called me to "come on down" to the Showcase Showdown! I was ebullient. My role was to assist and support Scott as he spent lots of money buying for his furniture, accessories and gift store in a little sea side town that stretches out along the Atlantic ocean. We started our long days with coffee and ended with champagne to celebrate an eight hour day of non-stop buying, looking and considering gorgeous things. The first year must have met his expectations, because I was invited back a second and third year. The gift show is like a five-acre adult fantasy land filled with crystal, candles, china, furniture, pottery, paper, glorious paper, sculpture, art work, embroidered linens, and things so marvelous and beautiful that it would fill me with glee just to be there. It is hard to keep the doors open of even the most unique, interesting and well-run treasure trove in the midst of a recession with gasoline approaching five dollars a gallon. Scott told me that he is closing his doors in 2009, and although I am more sad than you can imagine, I am so grateful for the chance to peer into Aladdin's den. Thank you Scooter for picking me to accompany you on your treasure hunting expedition. Just say the word and I would do it all over again!

Plans for my Fifth Decade

I have often thought about what would occupy my days and my heart in the second half of my life. Until today, I have not been certain. I drove down to Southern Missouri today to work on our upcoming summer program for children and as I drove past countless dead wild animals and injured or obliterated red shouldered or red tail hawk carcasses, I knew that when I win the lottery, I am going to open a wildlife and native plant sanctuary. I am so sad about all of the little guys trying to survive in a world where they have to negotiate high performance tires, construction zones and vanishing habitats. So when I win the lottery, don't ask me for a loan, the money is committed. But be sure and visit the Dora Keeton Wildlife sanctuary!

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa: Please update your GPS before you leave on December 24. I know you know the way, but there are a few stops you just can't miss on the way to my house. Please be sure and swing by that bridge just outside of Midway airport in Chicago. There is a guy that lives under there and I bet he could use a new sub zero sleeping bag and some nice gloves. Better throw in a bottle of the Silver Oak Cab too. Please be sure and hit the 'hood in St. Louis. I know lot's of kids there that don't have beds or pillows or desks. I bet lot's of folks would appreciate new pots and pans and some food. There are lot's of poor families that don't have much to share but would probably like some board games and pajamas for the children. I see lots of homeless dogs that need medical care and food not to mention a hug. Be sure and hit the ghettos Santa. Folks will be happy to see you.

I Eat Therefore I Am.......Fatter/Happier/Less Hungry

At my age the pleasures in life have gotten simpler. The big pleasure, the one I can engage in without injury to myself or others is eating. I use to find it amusing that my mother would travel to interesting places and the first comment about her travels upon her return would be the food. And she could tell you what she ate at each meal. Now I understand. How marvelous is it to eat with friends and to eat great food. I think about it everyday. I think about tomatoes when they are in season and homemade tapande on fresh sourdough bread. I think about cheese and olives and grilled halibut. I can taste grilled fennel with olive oil and a little good white wine. Here's to good food everyday.

Looking for a Bargain

I am looking for a deal. Not 50% off on a Garmin, but some gem, some little treasure for a crazy price. It is so much fun when I find a real bargain. It is just plain exciting. I was out snooping around in antique shops for single or at the most two porcelain coffee cups like the ones our grandmothers and mothers had. I found a little shop that accepts "antiques" on consignment and found some real gems for five bucks each. This year for Christmas I am antiquing, baking or making gifts. If you get a store bought gift it is because I ran out of time. So if you find a great deal call me.

Gravity is Depressing

When I get a glimpse of all my bits in the mirror, they seem lower, looser and strange to me. I am temped to stand upside down just to have things fall into their starting place. I don't mind aging I really don't. I just don't like how it looks. If it isn't crepeing, swaying or drooping, it belongs to someone else. There is no solution for this is there? I don't look bad in clothing, the fabric keeps it all in place. I often joke about botox or some sort of procedure, but I know that the effects of medical intervention are temporary. My solution is this: I will go to the gym. I can't change how my bits are now, but I can make sure they aren't larger than they need to be! An answer awaits me! All I have to do is sweat it off, work those arthritic knees and further annoy my back. Mark Twain was right. Youth is wasted on the young.

Thanksgiving without the Giving

This was a perfect holiday weekend. Perfect because I did nothing. Went nowhere (unless you count the three trips to Michael's Craft Store) , entertained no one and was content to eat leftovers and watch rented movies. Don't get me wrong. I love to entertain, cook and dazzle my guests with delicious treats and gay repartee. However the plan free weekend was a wonderful break. I did accomplish things: I mowed the entire yard and mulched all of the leaves that had fallen. I fed the birds, walked the dogs, brought in the last of the firewood, made Christmas presents (Hence the multiple trips to Michael's), worked on a puzzle and got some knitting done. I didn't miss my annual dressing anxiety, the cranberries sauce that no one eats or the huge mess. Maybe next year.