May I Help You? No, Not Really.

I arrived at Bank of America, clutching the documents that had arrived in the mail to verify my new account. I took the documents to the next available teller and asked if she needed my signature and how I would get a special designation on my account so that when I died, the balance of my account would go to my designee.  Now, note, that on the document that I had in my hand, it outlined the procedure.  So I asked if I could give her the completed, and signed document.  "No, I don't think so.  You have to call and talk to someone on the phone."  So let me get this straight- there is a lady greeting people in the bank lobby handing out coffee and directions to the next available teller, and there is a teller, but if I need answers to a question, I have to leave the bank and call a 1-800 number.  This gives a whole new meaning to customer service.  Come on people! For this you need a bailout??  No! For this, you need training.  Bank- schmanck.  I am going to put my money in a band-aid box and forego the fake "customer service."   

Suffering- Not For The Feint of Heart

Would someone please tell me why humans are supposed to flog themselves, suffer endlessly, and shun indulgences or luxury? Is that really the way to keep us in line?  Does it make me any more appreciative of the things I do have, or, does it make me resentful of all I must endure for so little? Annie Lenox has a line in a song:  "Everyone must suffer"  Why? I don't do misery well.  If liking the occasional treat (new handbag, new shoes, nice bottle of wine) makes me a sinner, I guess I am a sinner.   There is plenty of suffering in the world.  I say let's live the best we can now and leave misery to the miserable.  

Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

Although I  have been cooking for years, I  have noticed that my confidence trying new spices, seasonings and herbs has increased over time. Cilantro, Turmeric, garlic (I have never had a light hand with garlic!) ginger, red pepper flakes and cumin are in frequent use in my kitchen.  Perhaps it is because I have been cooking and eating for such a long time that I need new ways to prepare, season and experience food.  My goal is not to make it spicy just for the sake of making it spicy, but to figure out how to combine herbs and seasoning to make it interesting and to subtly bring flavors and aromas to the forefront.  I am enjoying eating more than anyone person should, but it is so very pleasurable. Mangi come voi la media esso! (Eat like you mean it!) 

Swine Flu? Are You Kidding Me?

Great.  Now I have one more thing to worry about- right after I cancel my flight to Mexico.  I'm kidding, I had no plans to visit our Southern Neighbor, but woe is me if I had made plans.  Between the pirates, the economy and how my neck is starting to look in middle age, now I have to add a looming pandemic???  Holy smokes.  I understand why we are all on meds of some flavor: anti-anxiety, anti-depression, hormones, good grief!  We need prescriptions just to get through the day!  I guess the upside is, soon I will be able to stop obsessing about how my lipstick looks.  You won't be able to see it underneath that ugly little mask!!  

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Garden Grow??

This has been a perfect week for gardening.  It has been overcast and warm-ish with a slight breeze.  I have been so motivated to get the remainder of the perennials in the ground.  I have created a few new flower beds and gotten much of the yard cleaned up for spring.  I am a little bummed out, after three years, I still don't have any bat residents in my bat house.  I know they are out there, because when the pool light is on at night, it illuminates their acroBATics.   I am taking my little protege out to a friends farm to see the baby chicks tomorrow and then we head to a sweet little nursery in Jerseyville, IL called Cottage Gardens.  They have a large selection of ferns and hostas.  I don't get there as much as I would like because it is an hour and a half drive each way.  I can't think of anyplace I would rather be than the garden.  It is so peaceful and I can see the results of my labor as soon as I set the shovel down.  

The Root of Evil

Yesterday afternoon, I received a phone call from an ambitious young college student who was curious about starting salaries for social workers and is considering graduate school.   I told her what I generally offer Bachelors level social workers and what I offer Master's level social workers. The back story is what I wanted to tell her, but didn't and that is that I would never be able to pay her enough if she were ambitious, had initiative and was willing to tackle the myriad of challenges that arise at our little agency daily.  What I find interesting is that if she were a banker, financial analyst or lawyer she could probably earn more money.  The difference is that helping the under served doesn't make anyone rich and therefore is a low rung on the income ladder.   It seems ironic though that she might be able to help someone who will go on to be a productive part of the capitalist system and benefit others, but betting on a person's  future success doesn't pay dividends.  I believe that every job has value, but every job is valued differently for all sorts of seemingly arbitrary reasons and certainly reflects what we value doesn't' it? 

Pirates, Tea Parties and Poisoned Water- Oh My!!

The news is not great is it? Compelling yes, but generally, not great. Pirates, tea parties and poisoned water all get three big thumbs down from me. I understand "if it bleeds it leads" is a way to sell papers or is it? It doesn't seem to be and effective way of keeping long standing newspapers from laying off staff or from getting smaller and thinner. I stumbled across a local newspaper today called "The Evening Whirl" and although I was amused by the colorful urban prose and the clever way the writers could make tragedy funny, it was dark and painted a bleak picture of urban life. I do realize denial is not a river in Egypt or anywhere else for that matter, but in my tiny corner of the universe denial offers some much needed relief.

Rain Gear

It was pouring this morning when we headed for Bowood Farms, a tony little urban nursery in the Central West end. They had an unexpectedly well-stocked Missouri native section and a helpful crew. I was able to pick up a few more things to get some of the perennial beds filled out. I thought for sure the rain would stop, but it didn't and still hasn't. No matter, after all I have a rain hat, rain poncho and rain boots. I figured I would put them to good use. I planted my two new spice bushes close to the two year old Fragrant Sumac and made homes for the Joe Pye Weed and the wild petunia's. I felt a bit bratty slogging around and digging in the mud. But it is okay when you have a purpose, so I felt no remorse about traipsing around in the gooey, sloppy muck for hours. The underside of my *heaping leaf pile is starting to decompose so I turned as much of the pile as I could. I took the opportunity to finally dump the dried out contents of my compost tumbler and turned them into the soil. My goal is to make the richest, darkest, wormiest soil ever! *For visual, see blog post: "Spring In My Step."

Strong and Black

The day started with a cup of Whole Foods Italian Roast. I love that coffee: dark, smoky, smooth, and not the least bit bitter. I can't believe I ever gave up caffeinated coffee. Glad I got over that because I look forward to my daily coffee ritual. Coffee is not on my list of things to give up or get over.

Spring in My Step

It's Easter! Winter is officially over. I get to rev up the lawnmower and start the endless weeding that will challenge and delight me throughout the spring and summer. I can wear shoes with out socks and dresses without sleeves! My purse color pallet will brighten and I can put the somber black and brown handbags in the closet and bring out the candy colored bags! Winter is important as it gives us a chance to be introspective and still (which is probably why it isn't my favorite season). But here we are. It is still cool for much of the day, but it certainly not in the 20's and Missouri is greening up. The Bradford Pears have made their big flashy entrance and the Dogwoods and Redbuds are in bloom. I need to mow the grass today and start the process of chipping and grinding the leaf pile! Yes, the one in today's blog photo. Isn't it great? My plan is to keep turning the pile until it is "hot" and I will chop it up and add it to all of the flower beds. After three years, one of my Golden Current shrubs is finally flowering. The plan is working, it's just slow in materializing. I got some exciting plants at the Missouri Wildflower nursery. I picked up four Blue Wild Indigo plants, and Lead Plant, a native shrub. I am glad its spring!

The Good China

Have I mentioned how very much I love giving dinner parties? Dinner parties can make you (the giver or the receiver) feel special. The world we live in now is so much more casual than the one I grew up in. I wear jeans to dinner parties now and ten years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing denim to someones home for dinner. I would find just the right cocktail dress because if someone other than me is making dinner and cleaning up, it is a special occasion indeed. So often people will remark: "wow, you dressed up" but the truth is that when we make time to get together and share a dinner, it is a special occasion. Dressing up adds to the anticipation of the evening. My mother was always tres chic. Pocket book and gloves. How elegant. I appreciate the aesthetic of the 60's: gloves, pumps, hat, pocketbook and long, sleek cars. But it is a new century and I am cool with jeans. But you have to admit, getting dressed up and hanging with friends over dinner is fun. After all, you look great and life is good.

This is Tree Trimming?

Thank you Ameren UE for honoring our trees and making sure those pesky things don't create a power outage risk. You do beautiful work. I am certain there is a future for you at the Missouri Botanical Gardens......

Seeing is Believing

Like most early weekday mornings, we were on the last leg of our daily three-mile dog walk. It is not out of the ordinary for cars to speed past us, although I don't think hauling ass through residential streets at 6:55 a.m. is warranted, but I digress. A high end black BMW with the head of a very curious Golden Retriever hanging out of the rear window watching Trudy and Louise sniff and meander zips past us. As I do in response to most furry four legged beings, I looked at the dog with affection, and continued walking. What snapped me back to reality was the sound of quickly applied brakes, a thud-thud and a whimper. Sure enough, the dog had either jumped or fallen out of the rear window. The driver opens his car door and stands there fussing with something either on his door (maybe the automatic window locks or his cup holder- perhaps his latte spilled) or near his door. His dog jumped up and ran around the car towards his owner. The driver continues to screw around with his door. I am stunned. So, I yelled: "Is your dog okay?" The guy says: "oh yeah, he's fine." I replied: "He was just hit by your car." He said in an annoyed tone: "He's fine." I couldn't believe it. This guy's dog flips out of his car and he is more concerned with his BMW 's gadgetry than his dog. I would have hot lined the guy if we had a state system in place to respond to reports of animal abuse and neglect. So in frustration, I yelled: "Roll up your car window!" He sped off. I am sure the guy did not intend to harm his dog. But I know that even if the dog did jump up, it could have internal injuries or any number of cracked bones or injuries. I just thought it was amazing that this beautiful, loyal dog got tossed from the Beemer driving at least 30 mph and the driver never even checked the dog before he drove off.

10 Questions

1. Have you made any adjustments to your car travel as gas prices have continued to climb?

2. Describe a romantic evening.

3. What is your favorite comfort food?

4. Manicure or pedicure?

5. Where was the last place you vacationed?

6. How many of your exes are you friends with?

7. What makes you laugh?

8. What is the most interesting thing you have read in the past year?

9. Charcoal or gas?

10. Sweet or savory?

A Confession

Well, I was very foolish and paid the price. I don't have a clue what came over me, clearly I had checked my common sense at the curb. I hadn't eaten lunch, and was passing a McDonald's. So I pulled in, ordered a four-pack of McNuggets and a small order of fries and ate them in my car. Here's where my usually good judgement went askance: I also got an ice cream. Within about a hour of my "eat like a third grader" moment, I felt sick and had stomach upset for the next 24 hours. The problem is, I know better. I try to eat locally grown food and choose organic when I can. I know better. I felt bad for a WHOLE day and then part of the next one. Now don't get me wrong. I have my moments where I have pizza on my breath or I have inhaled a six pack of wings, but generally I spread out my poor dietary habits and sprinkle in some fruit, fresh vegetables or whole grains. I guess what struck me was how food and health are inextricably linked. I truly felt sick. If I want to feel good, I have to eat well. I knew that, I tried to take a short cut and regret it.

The End of An Era

What happened to the dinner party? Did we get too busy? Is it too much work? Too Expensive? Remember the 90's? I had the pleasure of being invited to share the most amazing meals on beautifully set tables and enjoyed every minute. I think it is worth every discomfort to host a dinner party. I have learned so much sitting around the dinner table eating and drinking and hearing where other people have been and what or who they have done....I think you can still host an exceptional dinner party with out spending a lot of money. But it does take time. Oh we still host and go to dinner parties, but certainly not as many. Regardless of your set up, I think we should all host dinner parties. What else are we doing with our family china? I suppose we could do potlucks. My observation about potlucks is just this: "How many pasta salads can you eat?" In the 90's we all had a different take on the pasta salad, but essentially it was the samed damn pasta salad. Eating is a joy. But eating with others is delightful.

Mothership

This is a wee bit embarrassing, but today, at damned near fifty years old, I bought Led Zeppelin's Mothership. Wow. How wonderful it is to have great hearing and still have the uncontrollable urge to crank it up so loud the glass in the door vibrates. The funny thing is, I know every song and none of them sound the same. There is no mixing, no digitizing and no synthesizing. These guys are playing real instruments. This is when I miss my Camaro!! I loved to blast the music with the T-tops off while speeding to my next destination or nowhere in particular (gas was much cheaper then). Led Zeppelin makes me want to dance barefoot. I saw Jimmy Page in concert some years ago and didn't sit down all night. Such talent.

Slow Start

Isn't "mood" a strange phenomenon? Yesterday I woke up and I felt clear and happy and ready to tackle the myriad of challenges that I KNEW would pop up. And pop up they did. Nothing life altering, but puzzling, annoying and in need of attention. The day came to an end and I went to bed still mulling over the day's events, trying to figure out a response and a course of action. Today, my eyes opened, still heavy with sleep, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Hard to do with Trudy and Louise (my furry medium sized dogs) hogging the bed and the cat walking on my head. If I could, I would play hooky today and punt the whole darned thing. I would bake cookies, watch really dumb movies and swill tanks of coffee. But I gotta go and face the dragons. Damn. I wish I had paid more attention in dragon slaying class. Oh well. Maybe I'll buy a mood ring and plan my days around its ever changing color: "Oops my mood ring is black- I'd better stay home."

My Bucket List

• To volunteer in a food pantry


• To become a vet tech


• To help vaccinate and provide the most basic vet care for stray dogs and cats living in third world countries


• To do the Christmas bird count


• To have my kitchen open for 24 consecutive hours where people stop by and I feed them in exchange for conversation and company in the kitchen!


• To go to a runway show in Milan


• To drink really, really, REALLY good champagne in France


• To go on a three-week long luxury cruise to Asia with a suite (and a butler!)


• To send one child to college


• To learn to speak Italian


• To decorate and paint the bedrooms for a couple of little girls living in dire poverty (even if their residence is temporary)